Getting a Reputation

Once, when I was in high school, we got a crop of new teachers at the school who would begin working with us. One of them came up to me after a short while and greeted me with “Hi, nice to meet you. Your reputation really precedes you.” At the time, I had no idea what that meant.

As I’ve gotten older and come into my own as an adult, the concept has clarified itself considerably. My MA colleagues tend to describe me as “coherent” and it extends beyond just them. Professors, former colleagues, all the way to friends of many years and family would all describe me in similar terms. It is possible that I have maintained a roughly similar character as time has gone on, although I feel that I have changed considerably since my adolescence, but the primary difference between then and now is that I’ve become consciously aware of the reputation I have and actively cultivate and maintain some aspects of it. The main lesson of being an adult, much more so than others and beyond managing the increased levels of responsibility that it entails, is that of being aware of yourself in relation to the world around you and accepting what you can and can’t change about it.

The difference between the ideal version of ourselves—the effortlessly and impossibly motivated, well-eating, frugal, extra-ambitious, workaholic versions of ourselves that we may envision in our minds when thinking about when making resolutions at the end of the year that will go unresolved—and the real version of ourselves has much to do with this concept of awareness. We are all capable of doing what we set out to do and put our energies toward, but invariably we don’t always do everything, or do everything that we attempt to perfectly. Projects can languish, procrastination can rule, lower targets can be set out of necessity. Managing how you are seen by others is a balancing act between composure, social communication, and demonstrating your cachet through action.

It's also a bit of a roulette wheel that involves other people doing much the same and what kind of moments you happen to encounter them in. Sometimes you get off to a bad start with people simply because you get off to a bad start with them, others the reverse is true. Sometimes you can solidify habits that you weren't aware were major parts of your character simply because a critical mass of others pick up on them at the right moment. The part that matters is how consistent you are in doing things and how aware you are of what you're doing, even passively. If you can pick up on the things you're doing by not doing other things or the implications of what you're actively doing, you can direct your behavior in a way that lets you stay in charge of your persona to others.

So I may be relaxed about my punctuality in social contexts (ed. but if you're a potential employer reading this: my work ethic is meticulous and I am both punctual and proactive.) but I am known for the quality of my pursuits and what I put out in the world, from academia to cultural outings, and I like it that way. I could be more of a workaholic or more of a morning person or more of a social butterfly, but my way of being social serves my needs and interests and I feel comfortable knowing that I have a handle on it. I think we all could benefit from that.