There's a bit (or more than) of truth in all of this sarcasm, so take it with good humor.
- Air conditioning. Why is the United States so cold in the middle of a hot summer?
- The enormity of everything. We're not exactly hurting for space, are we?
- Public niceties. Why is everyone smiling at me? I don't know you people.
- Bad English everywhere. It's like I didn't leave a foreign country, except these people have less of an excuse.
- Food portions. How is it that restaurants can afford to serve this much food to people per dish?
- Prices. How is it that Listerine only costs $3 for 1.5L? That would be nearly 20€ in Portugal.
- Coffee. What is all of this liquid, and what have you done with the espresso that's supposed to be in it?
- Suburbs. Where did the city go? I can't find it.
- Drinking. Why must I be prohibited from doing this? Life is not the same without beer and 2€ wine.
- Geography and climate. Why is it so dry here, and where did the beach go?
- Dogs at home. Why are these creatures so fat and smell bad? Stop licking me.
- Customer service. Why are you so efficient, and why are you so friendly? You must be getting paid a lot to care so much.
- Restaurants. See: food portions. Also, why can't I just pick where I sit? And why are you in such a hurry?
- Diet Coke. Why do you suddenly taste so foul, what has my exposure to Coke Light and Coke Zero done?
- Punctuality. No comment.
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